Nerves

Last week I managed to have a last read through of my novel and did any last edits and changes. Then I emailed it off to some close family members and friends who I trusted to check for any further errors and give me some constructive feedback.

What I didn't realise was how nervous that would actually make me; this is people I have known for years. And when I was doing the final read through all of a sudden I was thinking about those people would be reading it and considering what they would think of me for writing it. It is a pretty dark story - I'll tell you more about it soon - so I was wondering what they would think goes on in my head. Then I got to thinking about whether they would assume that certain elements were true, or had happened to me. This made email little snippets to my husband asking his opinion before I sent it to my guinea pigs.

So far however the feedback has been really positive. I think most of them are shocked that I actually can do creative writing, and not just say I can. I do want them to be critical too though, because if there is something they don't like, then the chances are that it will be the same things that the public don't like either. They may find it hard to point out the negatives, but I really need them to, but I can take it. When I did my creative writing degree, I learnt that constructive feedback was one of the most valuable aspects to my writing, and after you got over the first few times of trying to justify to writing, you would look forward to the ideas other people could give you.

Also this week I have actually sought out some literary agents and I am beginning to send things out to them. Most of them want the first three chapters or 10,000 words, a synopsis and a cover letter. So that's been a bit of additional writing for me this week, but it is all very exciting. If you have any advice for me I'd certainly appreciate it.

Literary Agent

   I'm starting to get quite nervous about getting my novel published.  I am also looking at getting a Literary Agent to. To say that I have been working on my novel for quite some time it is quite odd to think that I know so little about the industry and what to do next. I think part of me even began to believe that it was never going to happen and I'd be the butt of jokes for years to come...

 

   Thankfully it hasn't come to that though now and I can quite confidently say, 'Yes, I have finished it'. The next stage, nonetheless, does seem almost as daunting. This website has been particularly helpful :)
https://www.writersandartists.co.uk/writers/advice/1012/preparing-for-submission/how-to-find-a-literary-agent/

Tough Day

   Sometimes things can go right for you which ends up making you think positively about all aspects of your life. Things start to look up and you feel lighter, freer. Then other days can take all of that away from you. I've had one of those days where little niggly things here and there have built up into a dark and lingering cloud. 
   There is a lot on my mind at the moment. So much in fact, that it's all struggling to stay in. I think I may be having a mid-life crisis 15 years to soon. I want it all and I want it now. I'm worried if it doesn't happen now, then it never will. I can't afford to fail; I never have done. I can't stand making the wrong decisions. Right now I don't know what I should be doing. What are my priorities now? Things that were important just aren't anymore.
   My writing keeps me going, allowing me to think that maybe one day in the future it'll all work out and it'll have been worth it. I'll achieve my goals and then I can die satisfied. I'm having a tough day. Please share any words of wisdom that you may have.

The Next Stage

   The last two years have been particularly busy for me. I have been completing a PGCE alongside teaching full time and it has absolutely killed me. A lot of people complain about how teachers get long holidays, but those people never see the teachers going in early, leaving late and working through their breaks, not to mention taking their work home at weekends. As it has all been new to me I have wanted to make sure that I do everything correctly and so have put my heart and soul into every aspect, sacrificing an awful lot of my free time. It has paid off however as I have now completed and passed my PGCE, from which I graduate in September, and I have secured myself a new job.
   Unfortunately however this has led to my writing suffering. I sat at my laptop a fortnight a go, embarrassed to find that my last save on my novel had been a whole year ago. I always had in the back of my mind that it had been a few months ago, but never a year. How could I call myself a writer, when I am not actively writing? I have twitter and I have had blogs, but again, I have not been contributing in the way I had always planned to, it had taken over everything.
   This (academic) year however it going to be about me and the things I want to do rather than what I need to do. I have a lot lined up but I will get there slowly but surely. Luckily when I started writing again I was excited to find that I was actually very close to finishing it, and after a week and a half off, I actually got it done. So, on to the next stage. Over the next couple of weeks I am going to be re-reading it, editing it, researching any issues I have and then getting some valued friends and family members to give me some much awaited constructive criticism, before I delve into the unknown of seeking a publisher. Wish me luck.