Just Keep Swimming

I have to admit that I think I have moaned quite a lot so far on this blog, but it is very therapeutic - so I recommend you set up a blog and do the same.

I am going through quite a challenging time at the moment as I feel like I have spent so much time planning my life only to find that someone else somewhere has something completely different in store for me. From being a child I have suffered from OCD and it was only a couple of years ago that I have been able to control it, rather than allowing it to control me. However old habits die hard, and so there are still some things that creep in to my everyday life.

I have always had the plan to work my way through education and constantly look to progress and improve. I completed my BA and a few years later did my MA and have looked into PHDs. I am traditional in the sense that I wanted to be married, get a mortgage and a successful career, and I have worked my way up a ladder in a respected profession. But somehow I have just achieved my PGCE (teaching qualification) and realised that its not the career I wanted to have. Of course my dream career would be writing professionally, but we all know how hard that can be, so until then I have had to 'work'. I can't be the worst teacher in the world as I wouldn't have got to where I am, but my heart just isn't in it. I now feel that I have failed because I feel like I have wasted many years when I could have been working towards something else.

There are also other aspects of my life that have changed, which I will go into at a later date, but they have led me to realise that 'All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy'; there is more to life to work, and there is no one that I need to prove myself to. Now I just want a stress free job, which gets me by, so that I can focus on more important things in life. However now I find myself in a new job desperate to get out, and wondering how hard it is going to be applying for jobs in a different field, now that my CV is so tilted in another direction.